Tuesday, December 12, 2006

A tour in Brief..

I started keeping notes on this tour to make my blog more true to the facts. But alas I only did that for a day or two. So here are the scat things I can remember about each date on the tour so far.

November 24 - NYC-
* Jet Blue red eye arrival at 8am
* No place to sleep before load in
* Irving plaza good local crew. Very helpful and a nice room to play. The show was a good one, but still would have rather started tour in a smaller city. The bigger the city, the bigger the pressure is to perform.

November 25 - Philly
* Haven't been to the Troc since The Donna "Turn 21", and that was kind of a nightmare.
* My friends Rob B and Marianne M came out. That was cool. I introduced them and they hit it off. Sometimes when I invite friends to shows I feel bad cuz I don't get to hang with them as much as I want. But like pets if you get two they can just keep each other company.
* Show was really good. We did the stretcher trick but this time we were able to take Peach off SL and back on SR. It was pretty comical.

November 26 - Washington DC.
* 930 club. What can you say about a club so awesome. The whole stage moves to fit the room to the attendance. Way awesome dressing room. Only bummer two shows that day so we loaded in at 8AM!
* Marianne drove down from Philly we got to hang some more. And she hung with Lampys boy. So things were good.
* The band from the first show was Real Big Fish. They stayed for the show. Which I think was funny because JD was a fan of theirs in High School.

November 27 - Charlottesville, VA
* Great record store attached to the venue
* Good Curry place attatched to venue
* Smallish room and the crowd went bananas. Thanx Charlottesville

November 28 - ATL, GA
* I like the Variety Playhouse. The stage has AC vents in the floor. It keeps things nice
* Walked around Little Five. Went into American apparel. Checked out clothes cuz I want to start printing up Roadie To Go merch on everything.
* Went to the record store by Junkmans Daughter (I think that is what it is called). I bought magazines. cuz that record store is like the size of a closet but has as much as Amoeba. It is so amazing. I just didn't have the time.

November 29 - Travel day. Stopped in Nashville to get toilet fixed. Amazingly enough I didn't do shit. I was in Nashville and I didn't do shit. I am a fucking idiot.

November 30 - FT. Worth, TX
* Ice. Storm. Cancel Show.
*But not before we straightened up their stage.

December 1 - Austin, TX
* The fun fun fun fest, was not to bad.
* Met a fun band called ADHD. Turns out my friend Brandi (NIN Fan club wrangler) knows them. Small world.
* Got to see the Applicators (I thought they had broken up), got to see Circle Jerks (awesome), and I got to see Whitey's Drummer play with a severely sprained ankle. Poor guy hurt that shit right after load in.
* Thanx Austin you always know how to party and that crowd was really excited.

December 2 - NOLA
* I really like the house of blues in NOLA. It has good food and a good bunch of people staffing the place.
* I didn't explore NOLA as much as last time but I think I was just too tired this time.
* It was Quintron's home town and man they fucking rocked it. I really enjoy them.

December 3 - Tally, FL
*Beta lounge. Please sweep your stage. Holy shit it was dirty up there. Everyone was great but I question the sanity of having a bar carpeted in Florida.
* the System was old but that doesn't stop the party. Another good crowd.
* It was perfect timing for us because it was the last day of the Queer/Trans convention that was going on in town. So I think that brought a lot of people out. Good times.

December 4 - Orlando, FL
* They built a fucking catwalk for Peaches. It was awesome.
* I went to wipe up a champagne (SP?) mess on the cat walk and peaches poured it in my mouth. That was fun.
* There was a crew of kids from Full Sail helping out. They were helpful and nice.

December 5 - Miami, FL,
* its a day off. The beach is kind of cold and there are no bikinis to be seen. I was disappointed. I thought Miami was supposed to be a "Diddy" or Will Smith video all the time. Guess I was wrong.
* went to a opening party and some dude got nude, swam in the pool, got dressed, and then was thrown out. Security was polite.
* party was kind of lame til that happened and I also found the hand rolled cigars. I mean they rolled them right there in front of you! That is fucking amazing. Oh and the Tamales were not half bad.
* went to another opening and some crazy German performance artist was screaming about Utters filled with Maggots. Man I wish I was that "artistic".

View from stage in Miami.

December 6 - Miami, FL
* We play on the beach in front of our hotel. There is a 30% chance of rain and our stage has no roof. I refuse to load on to stage til we get some tarps. It takes almost 2 hours for them to get some tarps.
* after sound check we sit on our asses for four hours til show time. We covered everything with tarps encase of rain. no rain. Sweet.
* Show is going pretty awesome except for the creepy guy stage center who keeps pulling himself part way onto stage. I yell at him. He gets down.
* For fuck the pain away the band hands off their instruments to us, the stage crew, and runs down to the beach. Chaos ensues as the band trys to keep peaches from being mauled by the crowd that has followed. Samantha is blocking people like its the Super Bowl.

December 7- Mexico City, Mexico
* I don't go to sleep the night before because we have to leave for the airport at 530am.
* We have to have security let us into Peaches' room so that we can get her to the Airport. She was tired.
* Arrival at the venue they have already set up my drums. I think they thought all the Vdrums on the plot were cymbals cuz there is like 10 cymbals on my set. I ask Tupac (one of the 10 helpful people at the venue) if there is a fan for samantha. They pull out a fan as big as Samantha's kick drums.
* one of the highlights was waiting on the Lighting rig. It was stuck in a RIOT! Amazing. I guess Mexico is heading for another revolution.

The Square around the block from our Hotel in Mexico City

Bunks on bus to Acapulco

December 8 - Acapulco, Mexico
* Prison bus to Acapulco
* Shitty humidity resting on all our gear and stage
* Awesome hotel we don't even get to enjoy.

A view from the hotel in Acapulco. To bad we only got an hour or so to enjoy it.

December 9 - Monterey, Mexico
* its fucking cold so they moved the show inside.
* Small stage, large crowd. Good times.
* the Girls have the THings take a bow. It felt very awkward.

December 10 - Tijuana
* Its TJ. Something is bound to go wrong.
* The people driving the generator over, so we can have power for the lights, get pulled over and arrested for not having the proper license to drive a generator around town.
* The venue is an old Hi lie (I spelled that wrong also) Court. So it is big with lots of natural reverb. What a grand place to have a show.
* as always we work past and the local crew is nice so everything goes well. Oh wait til that fucking idiot who got on stage wouldn't leave nicely. She ended up kicking over the Marshall as I carried her off stage.

Crossing the border from TJ to the USA.

Decmeber 11,12,13,14 - LA, CA
*I have a shit ton of people to see in four days. I see almost everybody except for 3/4 of Bullet Train To Vegas.

* The days are pretty much a blur but I do get some shopping done. I also start to hatch the Roadie To Go clothing plan. I met a lot of people and think that it can work.

December 15- Sacto, CA
* First night of Hanuka. We need a Manorah. So Thing 2 and I start drinking Corona. The plan is to make a Manorah out of empty bottles. The plan works and man I am a little drunk early in the day.
* For most of our touring comrades this is their first Hanuka. It was fun.
* Peaches decided to let the crowd pick the songs this night. And even did a Q&A mid show. It was a blast.

A glass Manorah.

Radio rides JD.

Peaches rides Thing 2

December 16 - SF, CA
* at the Fillmore again. I like this joint. They have lunch waiting for you and dinner is pretty rad.
* Its the last night of tour and we let loose. We have a cooler of beer on the stage and the band and crew are ready to drink it.
* Four different songs have groups of dancers on stage. Jeffree Star and his troupe come up for Shake your Dix. The girls from Kansas come up for another song (Can't remember which). And they all join in for I think fuck the pain away.

Set it off (7002)

Bus Party. 2.0, Nicole (Jeffree's Dancers), Samantha, Jeffree, and Jenn (monitors).

Samantha, Jeffree, JD and Peaches. (Amy our TM in the background)

Amy relaxing finally.
Jeffree and I.

Note: Memories are shifty and clearly there are holes and things that don't add up. But you get the gist. Tour was good, exciting, shitty and tiring all at the same time. I wouldn't change it for the world.

see you at Big Day Out!

-Thing 1-

Friday, November 17, 2006

November Rain

Back in Seattle, it rains. What a suprise. After the Japan dates, which went by too quickly but were a blast, Erin and I went to Las Vegas! We go to Vegas every year and this year it was for a friend's wedding. it was short and quick. It was good fun.

So getting home was nice. I have almost completed the move-in that I started 6 months ago. Sleeping has been great fun.

So I have already packed my bags for the next tour. Due to requests, "Roadie To Go" Shirts will soon be available for sale. I am working on a special edition "Thing 1 and Thing 2" design.

A few pictures from the last couple of months. Please note that the time code is on West Coast Time (an 8 to 10 hours difference from where the pics where taken)

Humanzi Gent, Mark the Lampy, David Bulton and Thing 2-a hotel room in Dublin. (Thing 1 behind the camera)

Lady A (Merch seller) and JD hold me up. I spill a beer in my lap!

an awesome park in Spain.

I am in France! Its the Med. I have a drink in my hand! it is the most original tour pic ever.

Samantha Drumming her ass off.

Paris. Peaches, in her silver pants, taught them the Snow Ball. Its like the roller rinks i would go to as a kid.

JD, Samantha, Radio, Jennifer and Lady A (not pictured). On our way up the hill to see an awesome cathedral. (France)

This thing pulled us up that hill. It was huge! In Israel it would be called a mountain.

This girl got into the show. She climbed on stage and shook it. You can find her on Suicide Girls. (Leeds, The Cockpit)

Its a day off/travel day through France and Spain on our way to Lisbon. Dave is already in the bag. What a story he must be telling.

We stopped in Northern Spain on our way to Lisbon. It was so pretty!

Lady A at a palace and Musuem in Madrid (?).

TO MANY FRIES!!! They covered these things in Guac, Cheese and that sauce you dip spring rolls into! Oh London you finally got cuisine right.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

an update. hello november!

Hello friends. Here is an update for those that have not heard from me in a while.

I have been touring so fucking much with peaches and I am so tired. I just spent a week out with gabe helping him on this new production job. its like a touring benefit concert.

I am home now but only for a short time. the next peaches tour starts on the 24th in NYC. You can find tour dates at Peaches Rocks

Erin and I are doing pretty well its been hard being away but we are saving for a house. so it should be worth it.

the holidays are coming and so is a month long break. if any of you need a DJ for your holiday party let me know. I got new records and music that I am aching to play.

keep on a rocking.

now i shall go back to sleep.


Thursday, October 19, 2006

Peaches Tour Dates


27-Oct Osaka, JP – Diesel Party
28-Tokyo, JP - UNIT

W/ special guest QUINTRON Nov 24-Dec 5
W/ special guests tbc. Dec 13-16

24-Nov  New York, NY - Irving Plaza
26-Nov   Washington DC - 9:30 Club
27-Nov  Charlottesville, VA - Satellite Ballroom
28-Nov  Atlanta, GA - Variety
29-Nov  Off Day
30-Nov  Ft. Worth, TX - Ridlgea Theater
1-Dec   Austin, TX - The Fest
2-Dec   New Orleans, LA - House Of Blues
3-Dec   Tallahassee, FL - Beta Lounge
4-Dec   Orlando, FL - Firestone Theater
5-Dec   Off Day
6-Dec   Miami, FL - Art Basel
7-Dec  Mexico City, MEX        
8-Dec   Guadalajara, MEX        
9-Dec   Monterey, MEX  
10-Dec  Tijuana, MEX
11-Dec  Off Day
12-Dec  Mexicali, MEX  
14-Dec  Los Angeles, CA - Avalon Theater
15-Dec  Sacramento. CA - Empire Theater

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

EU thank you very much!

Apparently I am not good at updating this. and this will not be a great update either. So here are some pictures.

From Reeding to Leeds.

Black tea first thing in the morning on an empty stomach is a bad idea. (location: Leeds)

Weird display in Stockholm.


Can you find the singer and merch girl?

This is not olive garden. (rome.)

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Jet Lag gettin in the Bag

Where: UK
Whey: Reading and Leeds.

In the past week I have slept alot, cleaned house, fought with my wife, made up with my wife and planned a European vacation. It has been nice to feel 'normal'.

Now back to unreality. Flew into the UK today. No free booze on American Airlines international flights...WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT!!!! I was so fucking pissed. I had to pay 5 bucks, with a CC (idiot that I am I forgot to bring cash), for a shitty bottle of wine. But I had Xanax. mmmm, sleep.

Got to hotel. Fucking hell there sits Blaze James! got to room. got to bar. Holy shit its the Eagles of Death Metal! Holy shit its Mastadon. I traded drinks with Brent from Mastadon.#

Now I am writing a blog rather than going to the Kerrang Awards. Which I wanted to do since Blaze James totally hooked me up with two tickets but then everyone bailed on me and I don't have 60 pounds to spend on a cab there and back! Sorry Blaze.

well there is an update.

p.s. check out www.roadietogo.myphotobook.com for pictures of the Peaches Tour.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

What have I been up to for the last 1.5 months

I am not much up for writting. I will try to write a tour summary when I get home. Until then here are some pictures.

Rehearsals at Little Radio in LA. (early June 2006)

NIN tour (June 15 - July 8 2006)

John Van Eaton the man behind the curtain.

Working on my computer right before if crashed down on me and refused to start again.

Roger tall burly dude and front of house for Bauhaus.

Dave "give me a Guinness" Burton (TM) and James "Jack/Squid" (FOH). these are the dudes I work with.

John drum tech for Bauhaus

Carl all around roadie for Bauhaus.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Haven't posted in a while

Man I am just not really in the writing mood right now. I am trying to write more so while I have a few min in Toronto.

Here is a short list.

NIN totally fun. Helped to create fun times backstage after show. "djed" the parties with an Ipod. fun stuff met some awesome people and learned much about drums. Trent is fucking huge! Peaches and Herms rules. I am glad to be on this tour. I miss my wife the most greatest girl in the world Erin Wendy Westkerbrat. I love the road too!

thats about it. the count down to my 30th birthday says it is 96 days til then!

good night and good luck.


Monday, June 12, 2006

Resume (update 4/25/08)

Echo Park, CA


March 2008 - April 2008
The Cribs (Warner Bros)
Merch Monkey

April 2007 - July 2008
Arcade Fire (Merge)
Drum Tech (Jeremy Gara)

Feb 2007-April 2007
The Shins (Sub Pop)
Drum Tech (Jesse Sandoval)

June 2006 - Feb 2007 and Coachella
Peaches (XL Beggers)
Drum Tech (Samantha Maloney)

July 2005
The Caesars (Astralwerks)
Tour Manager

June 2005 / March 2006
Bullet Train To Vegas (Nitro)
Tour Manager / Backline Tech / Merch

September - November 2003
Coheed and Cambria (Equal Vision)
Backline Tech

Jan 2003-Apr 2003
The Blood Brothers (Artist Direct)
Merch / Backline Tech

October - December 2002
Minus The Bear (Suicide Squeeze)
Merch / Roadie

January - Sept 2002
Vendetta Red (Epic)
Tour Manager / Backline tech

October - Dec 2000/May - July, Sept - Oct 2001
American Steel(Lookout)
Tour Manager/Guitar Tech/ Roadie

May 2001- June 2001 The Icarus Line (Buddyhead)
Tour Manager/Guitar Tech

Feb 2001-March 2001
The Donnas (Lookout/Atlantic)
Merch Guy/Guitar Tech

Aug 1999 – March 2000
The Black Halos (Sub Pop)
Tour Manager/Guitar Tech/Roadie

June 1998-Jan 2000
Severna Park (Collective Fruit)
Merch / Backline Tech

Other related work

Jan 2004 - November 2008
The Showbox (Seattle rock club)
Stage Hand / Stage Manager

Dec 1998-Aug 1999
Sub Pop Records
Tour Promotion/Head of Ticket Buys

LA Rehearsals

This past week was rehearsals in LA for Peaches. It was totally hard work and I am exhausted. Saturday was the big show. Gawd damn it was a busy day. I woke up at 10 am and worked all day til show time at 11 pm. The show went by so quick. I went out afterwards with Samantha and we went to her friends house to party. The band showed up later. Booze was drank, dancing was had, and talking commenced. Next thing I knew the sun was up and it was time to go. I finally got some sleep on the plane but I am still tired.

I'll post some pictures from the week later.

ps sorry this story was lame.


Monday, June 05, 2006

what a day?

I have been working all day on building things for our apartment. Man I am tired. I have to build tomorrow too! I am trying to finish all this before I leave at 6.50am Wednesday. Me and LA have a party date. I will be busy most of the day but hope to hang with friends in the night.

Later Seattle. See you in August.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

And in other news

On Tuesday Erin was supposed to fly to Idaho Falls but had a panic attack. I picked her up and the airport and we headed for Idaho Falls for Mason's High School Graduation. This was a very pleasant trip. The drive was long but the stay was nice. I am not sure what it is with Idaho Falls but damn those kids love sex. I can not remember the last time I saw so many super young parents. I am talking people under 21 with one kid or more. I even saw two girls prego that could not be older than 19. It is mind blowing! Maybe I am just a stuck up City folk...But STOP HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX!!! Come on people lets live a little before having babies! One of the most mind blowing was the girl at a resturant that we went to talking to the hostess about having her wedding reception at the resturant. She looked about 16. I know some people can look younger than they are but come on!

Erin thinks that this town's children giving birth to children is because of abstinence only education. Maybe they just need a good all ages club in town. They are obviously bored.

If you want more information about sex that schools are not teaching check out Scarleteen.

We left on Friday earlyish. Our root was through Portland, Or. We stopped for dinner at 9pm. There is this great organic/natural food resturant called Vita Cafe. It has a ton of vegan and veggie food as well as the best hamburgers. My favorite is the Jimbo. Bacon, Egg, Burger on a wheat bun. How fantastic. All the desserts are the best vegan desserts ever! You wouldn't even know if they did not tell you. I suggest to all my veggie/vegan and organic consciense friends to try it out.


Sunday, May 21, 2006

Peaches Tour Dates

This is where I will be for two months.

7-Jun LA, CA - rehearsals 2pm-10pm
8-Jun LA, CA - rehearsals 2pm-10pm
9-Jun LA, CA - rehearsals 2pm-1opm

Thu-Jun-15 OFF
Fri-Jun-16 Holmdel NJ PNC Bank Arts Center
Sat-Jun-17 Wantagh NY Jones Beach Amphitheatre
Sun-Jun-18 Saratoga SPAC
Mon-Jun-19 OFF
Tue-Jun-20 Hartford CT New England Dodge Music
Wed-Jun-21 Portland ME Cumberland County Civic
Thu-Jun-22 OFF
Fri-Jun-23 Boston Tweeter Center
Sat-Jun-24 Toronto Molson Amphitheatre
Sun-Jun-25 Detroit DTE Energy Music Theater
Mon-Jun-26 OFF
Tue-Jun-27 Cleveland, OH Blossom Music Theater
Wed-Jun-28 Columbus, OH Germain Amphitheater
Thu-Jun-29 OFF
Fri-Jun-30 Pittsburgh, PA Post-Gazette Pavilion
Sat-Jul-01 Chicago First Midwest Bank Amphitheater
Sun-Jul-02 Milwaukee, WI Summerfest-Marcus
Mon-Jul-03 Indianapolis, IN Verizon Wireless Music
Tue-Jul-04 OFF
Wed-Jul-05 OFF
Thu-Jul-06 OFF
Fri-Jul-07 Irvine Verizon Wireless Amphitheater
Sat-Jul-08 Mountain View Shoreline Amphitheater


Jul 15 Sat Denver, CO Gothic Theatre Travel/Show Day
Jul 16 Sun Lawrence, KS Granada Travel Day
Jul 17 Mon Chicago, IL Vic Theatre Travel/Show Day
Jul 19 Wed Montreal, QC Metropolis Travel/Show Day
Jul 24 Mon Baltimore, MD Recher Theatre Travel/Show Day
Jul 25 Tue Norfolk, VA Travel/Day Off
Jul 26 Wed Norfolk, VA Norva Show Day
Jul 27 Thu Atlanta, GA Variety Playhouse Travel/Show
Jul 28 Fri New Orleans, LA House of Blues Travel/Show Day
Jul 29 Sat Austin, TX Emo’s Outside travel/Show Day
Jul 30 Sun New Mexico Travel Day
Jul 31 Mon Las Vegas, NV House of Blues Travel/Show Day
Aug 1 Tue San Diego, CA House of Blues Travel/Show Day

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Pro Choice. Anti Asshole.

Erin and I, along with some friends, did a walk/run for NARAL a pro-choice organization. It was a good day. We called ourselves the Feminist Anti-definition League. I made bandanas at work with a logo I did on photoshop. It was a lot of fun.

I also got to go see Planes Mistaken for Stars in the studio one last time. The leave tomorrow to head back home. The record sound really great.

Just go home from this great day but my myspace mail had to emails from a certain "shark" that thinks I am a seal. Apparently he just can not get enough of me. I am going to eat some tofutti Cuties and cool out.


Monday, May 01, 2006

Don't forget your roots!

This Spring has been an awesome show month for me. I did not go to a lot of shows but those that I went to reminded me why I got into music and why I love "Punk". ( I use the quotes because the word is so over used, that in some ways it has lost meaning and also I hate to confine myself so much. )

In March for Spring break I went on tour with Bullet Train To Vegas for a week. It was great fun. Most the shows where not spectacular because of the lack of attendance but it was fun. Boise, Idaho being one of the best because it was a house show and people were there for the music. That is always nice. The other bands on the tour, Read Yellow and Haram, both rocked the house. The show reminded me of how much fun the 90s were. (in another blog I will talk about the other fun tour stuff).

The Bullet Train tour was just a build up to April. Each show was better than the last. April 8, 2006 I went to the Funhouse to catch an awesome cover group...JEWDRIVER the Jewish Skrewdriver cover band. They did a wonderful job of fucking up Skrewdriver songs and even did a Black Flag cover. A band that sets out to tell Skins where they can stick it by making racist songs more Jewish is awesome! They get a shit ton of hate mail. Jewdriver

Two weeks later a show I have been waiting for a long fucking time was Paint it Black, The Shook Ones at the Paradox. I first heard about Paint it Black in Punk Planet. Unfortunately with all the touring the last couple of years I have not been able to catch them. They only came through the NW one other time and that was like two years ago or something. I was surprised to dig the other bands, The Loved Ones and Sinking ships.

I got to the show a little early and it looked like, besides the bands, I would be the old guy at the show. While I was waiting Gary (MxPx merch guy) showed up. I have had mutual friends with Gary for sometime but never really hung out. He is a familiar face and it was nice to have some one to talk to. He just had a kid which is awesome. Kids rule.

The doors opened and I paid my fee. I think that and Jewdriver are the first two shows I have paid for in about a year or so. Working at the showbox I see shows for free cuz I am working them or cuz I get in on the list. Paying feels good. I like supporting touring bands that I like.

Before the show started this girl played her High School Senior project, a documentary on Hard Core. Unfortunately, like most younger scene kids, the definition of Hard Core was limited to SxE. This actually pisses me off a bit because to many people think Hard Core is only straight edge and that leaves guys like me feeling un welcome. Ok so they didn't make me feel awkward but I bet there are some kids that think that they have to be Edge if they want to go to shows. Which then just makes them bending to peer pressure, UNPUNK! So after the decent documentary the Sinking Ships played. They were not bad but I think their biggest selling point to people right now is that one of them is the younger brother of a member of Champion.

The Shook Ones from Bellingham played a good set. I had wanted to see them since I found out about them at KUGS in Bellingham. They are a local band up there and are like the home town heroes cuz they got signed to Rev. Good for them. The set was good and they couldn't stop thanking Paint it Black because they were on tour with them. During there set there was an actual Circle Pit! I have not scene a genuine circle pit in a long time. (extra credit question: Which direction does a circle pit move?) Man did I get tired in the pit...I must be getting old.

I was happily surprised by the Loved Ones. I had not heard of them before. The Bass Player, Spider, was in Lifetime and the Singer, Dave, was the roadie for Kid Dynamite. The whole set was bouncy, fun, and raw Pop Punk. Kind of like early Green Day. There is a lot of Bay Area grim in their sound, I love that sound. It was great seeing people sing along like they were a HC band. Finger pointing was occurring. Fantastic! I spent most the set bouncing and trying to figure out why the singer looked so familiar. I later talked with him and it turned out I met him when I was touring with Blood Brothers. He was the Explosions TM on the AFI tour. We talked about that a bit exchanged numbers.

My wait was rewarded with a high energy, in your face set by Paint It Black. These guys are my age or older and they fucking rock! The show is pretty much a blur. Highlights include great pit action, the singer actually talking about things that matter (When's the last time somebody said shit at a show that mattered and didn't sound wind baggy), finger pointing, a sing along at the end, and just tons of fun.

I made sure to buy the loved ones ten inch and new CD as well as the Paint It Black 12 inch and a Philly comp on ten inch. FANTASTIC! I know I am not a great writer but damn I was so pumped after the show. We smoked some weed and Drank some beer after words in the band touring box truck. Ok so I didn't smoke the weed but it was being passed around. The box truck was a conversion they did themselves by adding bunks and gear space. Its like a mini tour bus.

I left the show faith returned in Punk/Hard Core and Music in general. Also a new friend in Gary. And a connection to some East Coasters. That makes for a great night.

check out:
all the bands myspace pages

Paint It Black
The Loved Ones
The Shook Ones

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Grandmas fight the MAN and WIN!

April 28, 2006
Setting Grandmotherhood Aside, Judge Lets 18 Go in Peace

They came, they shuffled, they conquered.

Eighteen "grannies" who were swept up by the New York City police, handcuffed, loaded into police vans and jailed for four and a half hours were acquitted yesterday of charges that they blocked the entrance to the military recruitment center in Times Square when they tried to enlist.

After six days of a nonjury trial, the grandmothers and dozens of their supporters filled a courtroom in Manhattan Criminal Court to hear whether they would be found guilty of two counts of disorderly conduct for refusing to move, which could have put them in jail for 15 days. The women call their group the Granny Peace Brigade and said they wanted to join the armed forces and thus offer their lives for those of younger soldiers in Iraq.

The women — from 59 to 91, many gray-haired, some carrying canes, one legally blind, one with a walker — listened gravely and in obvious suspense as Judge Neil E. Ross delivered a carefully worded 15-minute speech in which he said his verdict was not a referendum on the Police Department, the defendants' antiwar message or, indeed, their very grandmotherhood.

But, he said, there was credible evidence that the grandmothers had left room for people to enter the recruitment center, and that therefore they had been wrongly arrested.

He then pronounced them not guilty, concluding. "The defendants are all discharged."

The women, sitting in the jury box at the invitation of the judge, to make it easier for them to see and hear, let out a collective "Oh!" and burst into applause, rushing forward, as quickly as women their age could rush, to hug and kiss their lawyers, Norman Siegel, the former head of the New York Civil Liberties Union, and Earl Ward.

"Listen to your granny, she knows best," crowed Joan Wile, 74, a retired cabaret singer and jingle writer who was one of the defendants.

Outside the courthouse minutes later, the women burst into their unofficial anthem, "God Help America," composed by Kay Sather, a member of a sister group in Arizona, the Raging Grannies of Tucson, which goes, "God help America, We need you bad, 'cause our leaders are cheaters, and they're making the world really mad."

The trial was extraordinary, if only because it gave 18 impassioned women — some of whom dated their political activism to the execution of Ethel and Julius Rosenberg — a chance to testify at length about their antiwar sentiments and their commitment to free speech and dissent, in a courtroom that attracted reporters from France and Germany.

Despite the judge's demurrals, the verdict was one in a series of victories for protesters who have been arrested by the New York police since the invasion of Iraq.

While more than 300 people were detained for minor offenses during demonstrations at the 2004 Republican National Convention, few were convicted. Also, earlier this year, a state judge rejected the city's efforts to quash Critical Mass, a monthly bicycle rally in Manhattan.

"I was sure we were sunk," said Lillian Rydell, 86, a defendant who testified during the trial that she went to "the school of hard knocks," instead of college.

"I love everybody," she said. The defendants called themselves "grannies" because they are all old enough to be grandmothers, even if some of them are not, and because in their view, grandmothers are a core American value, as patriotic as mom and apple pie.

Essentially, Judge Ross had found himself with grandmotherhood on trial in his courtroom. He seemed to acknowledge his dilemma when he said, in his decision, "This case is not a referendum on future actions at the location in question, on police tactics nor the age of the defendants or the content of their message."

He said he did not fault the police for making a decision in the heat of the moment to arrest the women last October, but he said that as a judge, he had the "luxury of time and hindsight" in which to consider events.

Before the verdict yesterday, both sides delivered their closing arguments.

The youthful prosecutor, Artie McConnell, allowed that it would be foolish of him to "cross swords" with a veteran civil liberties lawyer like Mr. Siegel on the First Amendment. "Luckily for me," he said, "I don't have to, because that's not what this case is about."

The case, he continued, was about breaking the law. "These defendants do not get a pass for who they are, no matter how noble their cause may be," he said.

If Mr. McConnell stuck to prose, Mr. Siegel did not hesitate to offer poetry. The defendants, he said in his closing, "tried to alert an apathetic public to the immorality, the illegality, the destructiveness and the wrongness of the war in Iraq." The grannies could not be punished for failing to obey a police command if that command violated their constitutional right to protest, he said.

When it was over, the grannies seemed ready to do it again. "The decision today says the First Amendment protects you to protest peacefully," Mr. Siegel said, addressing his clients outside the courthouse after the verdict. "So — go do it!"

And the grannies cheered.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Going to an Awesome show.

I am really excited to go see a band that I really like tonight. I would say they are my fav but I just don't know enough of the words to their songs to back it up.

tonight at the paradox.

Paint it Black (ex Lifetime)
The Loved Ones (ex Lifetime)
The Shook Ones (Bellingham types)

actually I am excited to see them all. but mostly Paint it Black.

Friday, April 21, 2006

What is the fucking deal?

What is it with people beating the shit out of people? Usually it is over the most trivial things.

Here is a repost from a friend of mine. Aparently this dude beat the shit out of this girl.

----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: Jacquie
Date: Apr 21, 2006 6:47 PM

for those that know heather, she is one of my closest friends and she was just assaulted at convergence in NOLA and her assailant has still currently on the run...

it has been rumored that he has already fled and skipped the LA borders... so I'm guessing at that point it has become a federal matter...

but if ANYONE knows where this guy is please contact the New Orleans POLICE immediately...

the only info I could find is:
New Orleans Police Dept
(504) 658-6080
715 S Broad St
New Orleans, LA 70119

but this is him:
William Hamlet Hunt

this is her:

and this is what he did to her:
"My left cheekbone is fractured in 8 places, broken in 3; my eye socket is broken in two; my nose is broken; my septum is torn; my jaw is fractured in two places; my bite is off and my teeth are misaligned; part of my cheekbone is floating in my cheek; and, if he had kicked me with ONE MORE OUNCE OF PRESSURE I would have died."

please help us find him, if you have ANY information contact the NOLA police department...

New Orleans Police Dept
(504) 658-6080
715 S Broad St
New Orleans, LA 70119

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Fuck Rape.

What the fuck? This guy, from Bainbridge Island, who used to look up to me is such a fucking ass. Over the past ten years or so he has raped and/or beaten a few girls I know. I hate him so much. He skipped town to avoid getting arrested the last time like six years ago.

Last summer, when I was in LA, I ran into him. Literally. I then had to resist beating the fucking shit out of him. I just don't have the bail or means in LA to escape. (at least that's what I tell myself)

Anyways this douche bag is back in Seattle. I ran into him today at Bop Street or is it Bomp Street. Figuratively. He works at this particular record shop in Ballard now. So I walked out. I am not really sure what the fuck to do.

He told me his side of the story and shit just didn't add up. The best being that he didn't beat his GF that he raped but that he watched his friend do it. He said that means he has no fault in it then. What the fuck ever.

So after walking out I get home and check my mail, hip-hop.net and Myspace. Well the fucking idiot wrote me a email. Here is my response to his email:

"Why do you even bother? You tried to explain your side. But failed.

I will put it simply. Since the day you decided to be a total dipshit on BI and turn the power off on everybody I have little
respect to you.

What happened Six years ago...whatever. You make me sick. I know the girls that you have abused as a BF or whatever
you want to call yourself. Next time I see Conor I will tell him I think it is fucking stupid for him to play with a talentless
piece of shit like you.

Also just cuz your grandma loves you doesn't mean you are not a fucking asshole.

and for the last time stop fucking talking to me. I don't care that you used to look up to me.

die painfully. "

I admit this isn't my best work but he pisses me off so bad I can't think of anything but to get in and get out. I plan on talking with a few friends about this issue. This way I can come up with a concrete response to this idiot being back in Seattle. I would love to do nothing more than beat him in the stomach till he pukes blood. Chances are that he would stab me in a fight cuz he fights dirty. Also jail doesn't really do me or the situation any good. Any suggestions would be fantastic.


Wednesday, April 19, 2006

New Night

NEw Night: EVERY OTHER TUESDAY @ Hattie's Hat.

Starting April 25th it is Every Other Tuesday.

At Hattie's Hat.

DJ JewK Boxx



Playing Punk, Rock, Blues, and Country.


My Wish List


"Deeper shade of soul" -- Urban Dance Squad
any fugazi besides "13 songs" (already got that one)
Hank Williams
"Takes Two" -- Rob Base and DJ Easy-Rock
"I Against I" -- Bad Brains

Hank Williams (Sr. and III)

The Dean Martin roast collection.

Sunday, April 16, 2006


NPR -- American Roots -- Johnny Cash.

The man in black was amazing. It makes me so sad to listen to this story. He did so much for rock and roll / country / music.

Planes Mistaken for Stars got in this weekend and I went to there house in West Seattle they rented. It is fucking awesome with a great view of the Sound and the Olympics.

Easter Bunny Hates You!


old blogs.

This is Harry Taylor:
Image hosting by Photobucket

Despite being interrupted and laughed at by George W. Bush several times, this brave man persevered and said this to the smirking mass murderer we have as president:

"I have never felt more ashamed of nor more frightened by my leadership in Washington, including the presidency, and I feel that despite your rhetoric, that compassion and common sense have been left far behind during your administration, and I would hope that from time to time you have the humility and the grace to be ashamed of yourself."

If you agree, you can go here to thank him for speaking for you: www.thankyouharrytaylor.org
(click at the bottom where it says "1000 comments" or whatever, and then scroll to the bottom to leave your comment.)

Here's video:

4/8/6 I'm going on tour with PEACHES!

As a drum tech!


Thu-Jun-15 OFF
Fri-Jun-16 Holmdel NJ PNC Bank Arts Center
Sat-Jun-17 Wantagh LI Jones Beach Amphitheatre
Sun-Jun-18 Saratoga SPAC
Mon-Jun-19 OFF
Tue-Jun-20 Hartford New England Dodge Music Center
Wed-Jun-21 Portland ME Cumberland County Civic Center
Thu-Jun-22 OFF
Fri-Jun-23 Boston Tweeter Center
Sat-Jun-24 Toronto Molson Amphitheatre
Sun-Jun-25 Detroit DTE Energy Music Theater
Mon-Jun-26 OFF
Tue-Jun-27 Cleveland Blossom Music Theater
Wed-Jun-28 Columbus Germain Amphitheater
Thu-Jun-29 OFF
Fri-Jun-30 Pittsburgh Post-Gazette Pavilion
Sat-Jul-01 Chicago First Midwest Bank Amphitheater
Sun-Jul-02 Milwaukee Summerfest-Marcus Amphitheater
Mon-Jul-03 Indianapolis Verizon Wireless Music Center
Tue-Jul-04 OFF
Wed-Jul-05 OFF
Thu-Jul-06 OFF
Fri-Jul-07 Irvine Verizon Wireless Amphitheater
Sat-Jul-08 Mountain View Shoreline Amphitheater

3/21/06 11am
Ogden was canceled. We drove to Wyoming. Stayed in a crappy hotel. Van odometer and speedometer stopped working. Denver was awesome. We had competing group kareoke after the show. I have also already eaten twice today. which is nice.

Hung out with marty. and have lost ability to make an interesting blog aparently. oh well.

Totally watching TV Carnage. way awesome.

3/18/06 OH Boise!

Last night the tour was at a house show. it is a really awesome place. one of the cleanest show houses i have ever been to. They had about six cases of 24 oz cans of Genuine Draft. Free with admission! The room that the bands played reminded me of the Goat Haus but smaller. It was great you could hardly hear it outside.

Then after the bands played them made us spaghetti. We all fucked around for a while and talked shit on bush. Watched the kayne west "george bush" speech on the internet. Then Marty and I took off with two funny girls named Shannon and Annie. They draged along their buddy JR and Annies bf and justine the guy that put on the show showed up at the club later. Didn't realize that Boise had their own version of rags to riches meets members only. Excerpt no body cared that they couldn't dance. we even had a circle with the hand claps and people taking turn in the center. You know a place doesn't get down often when people start telling me how good i dance. man they must have been drunker than me.

After closing we went to a house and watched Mean Girls. We also played a wicked game of Ping Pong. The walls and ceiling were in effect. It was awesome balls were flying everywhere! A actually pretty good Teen Movie.

2/7 days done on tour. 2/7 drunken nights. 2/7 shitty meals.

later. I just might still be drunk.

3/17/06 first day Spring Tour! BANANAS!!!!

Left for tour today. First stop Spokane. We took a break at the Summit and busted out the boogie board on the hill. Marty and Greg of Bullet Train to Vegas got into their banana suits. The best part was marty "Surfing" on the boogie board, smoking in his banana suit. He fell got up cigarette still in hand. By the end kids were getting pictures with them. Today so far is way fun.


3/13/06 Finals!
Current mood: apathetic

I guess I do not know how to read a finals schedule. Cuz I just took a final for enviromental science 101 (I did not take that class this quarter). I thought my psc 101 final was at 8 am but its at 10 30. the good news is I think i did really good on the test!

back to studing.

3/7/2006 High School really does suck

Today in my political science 101 class I realized just how stupid the kids coming out of High School are. Don't they make them read anything about the real world? Today we were disccusing the politics/economy of "3rd world" nations. The questions coming out of some of my fellow student's mouths, just blew me away. Quetions like is the third world being forced into globalization? I don't understand how letting them work within there regional economy will help them catch up to us? Why are you so dumb is what I want to ask. How hard is it to understand that we the "1st world" suceed by making them not advance their industries to a competitive advantage. That we live so "well" by making them live like rats in a sewer. The discussions in this class are the type that should have already happened in High School. If a shitty spelling, former college drop out like myself can understand these 101 concepts so should these people.

I know that this rant is somewhat unfocused but I do have this as a conclusion. Only three type of people are produced by our current "education" system.
1) those that get it and use it to be on top of the heap of american industry/hierarch/power structures (i.e. the "man")

2) those that get pissed and either turn it into something productive or at least try not to be a power hungery dick

3) the idiots that don't even care or don't know that they are being fucking raped by the "Man"

am I close or am I just a raving lunatic.

up the PUNX.

3/3/06 Nazis + KKK + Planned Parenthood= Love?????!!!

note: I was unsure of how to grammatically write this. please email me corrections when you see the glaring mistakes.

So yesterday I was on my way across campus to participate in a survey for class. I had to cross red square to get to miller hall. Red square is the free speech zone of the Western Washington campus.
Some very "smart" pro-lifers had a banner up. It had a picture of something Nazi related (I can't remember what) with a Swastika and a Judah star on the picture, below it just said Nazi. Next to it was a picture of a man being lynched the caption read KKK. The final picture was a "fetus" (it looked more like a toy hand in blood to me) laying on a quarter the caption read "10 week 1st trimester fetus" and below the picture it said Planned Parenthood.
I guess no one ever told them that Planned Parenthood doesn't just promote abortions but actually tries to educate people about their sexual choices and health decisions. I would even add that the subtext of Planned Parenthood would be for abortions to no longer be necessary because we would all become responsible human beings, well educated human beings. Not like that is going to happen in our lifetime.

2/28/06 FSU...Fifty Sents United???

Apparently FSU think they are in a 50 Cent video...

Members of punk rock gang behind club violence, say police
08:20 AM PST on Tuesday, February 28, 2006

SEATTLE - Seattle Police arrested members of a punk rock gang accused of unleashing violence on the city's nightlife. Their victims didn't do anything, except to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Police say the group called FSU has been behind at least three unprovoked attacks at punk shows in Seattle recently. Police are now wondering if this weekend they foiled something even bigger.
New York-based punk band The Templars were getting ready to take the stage in Seattle Saturday night, apparently unaware of a potential problem brewing outside.
In the alleys around Studio 7, a live music club in South Seattle, an alert police officer spotted dozens of men with short haircuts, boots and black jackets that read "FSU."
"The officers were concerned because of the numbers and because of the history that they knew they had assaulted some individuals related to different music clubs," said Debra Brown, Seattle Police spokesperson.
According to police reports, officers rounded up 24 suspects. Two of them had handguns. At least three others had knives or brass knuckes, and one was wearing body armor, a bullet proof vest.
Police say they're becoming increasingly concerned about the hardcore punk gang known as FSU.
"There's two different meanings for it," said Brown. "The most common is Friends Stand United."
In clubs, FSU is known by its more vulgar term. It was founded on the East Coast by music fans who claimed they wanted to drive the racist skinhead image out of hardcore punk. But on Internet message boards, some fans say FSU is itself a violent and threatening presence at hardcore clubs.
Management at Studio 7 said FSU has been banned at its club and at least two others in Seattle for prior problems.
One suspect arrested Saturday who had a handgun is a felon. He's behind bars on $30,000 dollars bail. The other gun belonged to an FSU member who has a weapons permit. He wasn't charged, nor was the other member who was wearing body armor. That's legal for non-felons.


World: Europe

Outrage at 'jeans alibi' verdict

MPs say they will protest until the ruling is overturned

Women parliamentarians in Italy donned denim to work on Thursday to protest against an appeal court ruling that a woman wearing jeans could not claim to have been raped.

The BBC's Lindsey Thorne: Women MPs are wearing jeans to work in protest
Five MPs displayed signs reading "Jeans: Alibi for rape" on the steps of the parliament building in Rome.
The protest came after the Supreme Court of Appeal in Rome overturned a rape conviction on Wednesday, saying the supposed victim must have agreed to sex because her jeans could not have been removed without her consent.

David Willey: Case highlights Italy's inadequate rape laws
Alessandra Mussolini, the granddaughter of dictator Benito Mussolini and a right-wing MP, said the ruling "offends the dignity of women."

She vowed to continue the protest until the Constitutional Court overruled the decision.

Horrified reaction

The ruling drew horrified reaction from across the political spectrum.

Centre-left deputies initiated an emergency debate in Parliament on Thursday afternoon.

"It's absurd. The Court of Appeal should be reminded of the existence of zippers," said Justice Ministry Undersecretary Maretta Scoca.

A female Supreme Court judge, Simonetta Sotgiu, hit out at her colleagues.

"The appeals court is in the hands of men, often elderly, with old-fashioned ideas. Every day I have to do battle to change the mentality," she said.

The head of an anti-crime telephone hotline said the service had been overwhelmed with calls from women worried about the implications of the "mediaeval" ruling.

"This decision is going to make it even harder for victims to take the step of pressing charges," said Giuliana dal Pozzo, president of the Telefono Rosa (Red Telephone) helpline.

Conviction quashed

The appeal to the Supreme Court - Italy's supreme judicial body - was brought by a driving instructor, Carmine Cristiano.

He had been sentenced to 34 months' in jail for raping an 18-year-old pupil by a lower court in the southern town of Potenza.

His defence had argued that the young woman - identified as Rosa - had consented to sex, a version of events which she strongly denied.

The Supreme Court ruled that it was impossible to remove a pair of jeans "without the collaboration of the person wearing them", and that the young woman must therefore have consented to sex.

10:29 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Feb 17 2006 Italy needs help

talian court: Not a virgin? Sex crimes aren't as serious

Mussolini's granddaughter slams all-male court after recent rulings
Friday, February 17, 2006; Posted: 8:21 p.m. EST (01:21 GMT)

Alessandra Mussolini was one of many who slammed the Italian court after the ruling.

What Is This? ROME, Italy (Reuters) -- Sexually abusing a teenager is less serious a crime if the girl is not a virgin, Italy's higher court said on Friday in a controversial ruling that immediately drew a barrage of criticism.

The court ruled in favor of a man in his forties, identified only as Marco T., who forced his 14-year old stepdaughter to have oral sex with him after she refused intercourse.

The man, who has been sentenced to three years and four months in jail, lodged an appeal arguing that the fact that his stepdaughter had had sex with men before should have been taken into consideration during his trial as a mitigating factor.

The supreme court agreed, saying that because of her previous sexual experiences, the victim's "personality, from a sexual point of view, is much more developed than what would be normally expected of a girl of her age".

"It is therefore fair to argue that (the damage for the victim) would be lower" if the abused girl was not a virgin, Italian news agencies quoted the court as saying.

This means the man could now be handed a lighter sentence.

News of the ruling immediately drew fire.

"I think we have gone back 50 years," said Maria Gabriella Carnieri Moscatelli, head of the Telefono Rosa association that helps sexually abused women.

"It is inconceivable that such a serious crime that ruins the life of a woman, irrespective of her age, might be considered in a different light depending on whether she is a virgin," she said.

Female politicians from across the political spectrum also strongly condemned the court's decision.

"This is a shameful, devastating ruling," said Alessandra Mussolini, grand-daughter of wartime fascist dictator Benito Mussolini. "The real problem is that there are no women in the supreme court."

Luana Zanella of the Greens opposition party called the court's arguments "abominable".

The supreme court is no stranger to controversial judgments.

In recent years it has ruled that "an isolated and impulsive" pat on a woman's buttocks at work did not constitute sexual harassment, and returned a verdict that a woman could not have been raped because she was wearing skin-tight jeans.

Copyright 2006 Reuters. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

well put David Cross

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Hi everybody!

The following is a letter I wrote after picking up Git-R-Done - The Larry The Cable Guy Story (ghost written by Susan Sontag). I have to warn you that it's nearly 11 pages long. But I think it's chock full of life lessons for all of us and if you're not careful... you just might learn something!

An open letter to Larry The Cable Guy:

Hello Larry,

It's me, David Cross. Recently I was shooting something for my friends at "Wonder Showzen" (the funniest, most subversive comedy on American T.V. at the moment) and when we were taking a break one of the guys on the show asked me if I had seen some article in something somewhere wherein you were interviewed to promote your new book "Please-Git-R-Done" (published by Crown Books $23.95 U.S.) and they asked about your devoting a chapter to slamming me and the "P.C. Left". Since I stopped following your career shortly after you stopped going on stage wearing a tool belt with cable wrapped around your neck (around your appearance at "Laffs 'n' Food" in Enid, Oklahoma Aug 23-26 1999?) I said I wasn't aware of the article. They went on to tell me that you said basically (and I am not quoting but paraphrasing their recall) that I could kiss your ass, that I've never been to one of your shows (true) and that I didn't know your audience (untrue).

SO, I went and got your book, "Gitting-R-Donned", and excitedly skimmed past the joke about that one time you farted and something farty happened, on past the thing about the fat girl who farted and finally found it, . Well, needless to say I farted. I farted up a fartstorm right there in the Flyin' J Travel Center. I fartingly bought the book and took it home with an excitement I haven't experienced since I got Bertha Chudfarter's Grandma drunk and she took her teeth out and blew me as I was finger banging her while wearing a Jesus sock puppet in the back of the boiler room at The Church of the Redeemer off I-20 (I don't care who you are, that's funny.)

Anyhoo, I got home and read the good parts. It seems that you were pissed off at Rolling Stone magazine, and I can understand why. You made some good points in your argument as well. I agree that there is an eliteism and bias in the press and too often a writer will include asides to show the readers how smart he or she is and how "above it" they are. But come on! Surely you can't be surprised, or worse, hurt or offended by this. You even say in the book that you knew what you were getting into (Rolling Stone being all "lefty" and whatnot). Certainly I'm not surprised that they took a ten minute phone conversation with me and chose to print only the most inflammatory paragraph within it. That's what they do.

But I want to address some of the things you write about me in "Git-to-Gittin'-r-Done". In response to the Rolling Stone article, but first let me say this; you are very mistaken if you think that I don't know your audience. Hell, I could've been heckled by the parents of some of the very people that come see you now. I grew up in Roswell, Georgia (near the Funny Bone and not far from The Punch Line). The very first time I went on stage was at The Punch Line in Sandy Springs in 1982 when I was 17. I cut my teeth in the south and my first road gigs ever were in Augusta, Charleston, Baton Rouge, and Louisville. I remember them very well, specifically because of the audience. I remember thinking (occasionally, not all the time) "what a bunch of dumb redneck, easily entertained, ignorant motherfuckers. I can't believe the stupid shit they think is funny." So, yes, I do know your audience, and they suck. And they're simple. And please don't mistake this as coming from a place of bitterness because I didn't "make it" there or, I'm not as successful as you because that's not it at all. Since I was a kid I've always been a little over sensitive to the glorification and rewarding of dumb. The "salt of the earth, regular, every day folk" (or lowest common denominator) who see the world, and the people like me in it, as on some sort of secular mission to take away their flag lapels and plaster-of-paris jesus television adornments strike me as childishly paranoid. But perhaps the funniest (oddest) thing in your book is you taking me to task for being P.C. Have you heard my act?! I'll match your un-P.C.ness any day of the week my friend. I truly believe, and have said onstage amongst other things that, orthodox Jews are bar none, the most annoying people, as a group, that walk this earth. I absolutely refuse to say the term "African-American". It's a ridiculous and ill-applied label that was accepted with a thoughtless rush just to make white people feel at ease and slightly noble. I also believe that in the right setting that, as unfortunate as it may be, retarded people can be a near constant source of entertainment (fact!). Larry, whether northern, southern, straight, gay, male, female, liberal, conservative, Christian or Jew, I've walked them all. It didn't matter if it was a room full of "enlightened" hippie lesbian wicans at Catch A Rising Star in Cambridge, MA or literally hundreds of students at the University of St. Louis (a Jesuit school) or a roomful of the cutest, angriest frat boys in Baton Rouge all threatening to beat me up, I un-P.C.'d the shit out of them. That's another thing that bothers me too. I honestly believe that if we had worked a week together at whatever dumb-ass club in American Strip Mall ..298347 in God's Country U.S.A and hung out that week and got good and drunk after the shows, that you and I would've been making each other laugh (I imagine we would have politely disagreed on a few things) but not only would we be laughing but we'd often be laughing at the expense of some of the audience members at that nights show and you know it. I'll address your easy, bullshit sanctimonious "don't mess with my audience" crap further on. But for now, let's "Gittle-R-Ding-Dong-Done!"

Okay, here's what I said in the RS interview: "He's good at what he does. It's a lot of anti-gay, racist humor -- which people like in America - all couched in 'I'm telling it like it is.' He's in the right place at the right time for that gee-shucks, proud-to-be-a-redneck, I'm-just-a-straight-shooter-multimillionaire-in-cutoff-flannel, selling-ring tones-act. That's where we are as a nation now. We're in a state of vague American values and anti-intellectual pride."

You took umbrage at my calling a lot of your act anti-gay and racist and said that "...according to Cross and the politically correct police, any white comedians who mention the word 'black' or say something humorous but faintly negative about any race are racists."

Well, first of all, your act is racist. Maybe not all the time, but it certainly can be. Here, let me quote you back, word for word, some of your "faintly negative" humor and I'll let people judge for themselves.

Re: Abu Ghraib Torture -

"Let me ask some of these commie rag head carpet flying wicker basket on the head balancing scumbags something!"

Re: Having a Muslim cleric give the opening prayer at the Republican Convention -

"What the hell is this the cartoon network? The Republicans had a muslim give the opening prayer at there (sic) convention! What the hell's going on around here! Is Muslim now the official religion of the United States!... First these peckerheads ( Ironically, "peckerhead" was a derogatory word slaves and their offspring used to describe white people) fly planes into towers and now theys (sic) prayin' before conventions! People say not all of em did that and I say who gives a rats fat ass! That's a fricken slap in the face to New York city by having some muslim sum-bitch give the invocation at the republican convention! This country pretty much bans the Christian religion (the religion of George Washington and John Wayne) virtually from anything public and then they got us watchin' this muslim BS!! Ya wanna pray to allah then drag yer flea infested ass over to where they pray to allah at!" End Quote. So... yeah. There you go. This quote goes on and on but my favorite part is when you say towards the end, "...now look, I love all people (except terrorist countries that want to kill us)..."

There are numerous examples and I don't think I need to reprint any more. You get the idea. Oh, what the hell, here's one more - "They're dead, get over it! Poor little sandy asses! I'm sure all them dead folks'd they'd killed give 40 shekels or whatever kinda money these inbred sumbitches use, but I'd give 40 of 'em whatever it is to be humiliated instead of dead!"

Okay Larry The Cable Guy, I will ignore the irony of a big ole southern redneck character actually using "inbred" as an insult, as well as the fact that a shekel is currency from Israel, the towel heads sworn enemy. But at least you're passionate about what you see as inhumane injustice (not on a global level of course, but on a national level) and the simple black and white of what's right and what's wrong. It's kinda like you're this guy who speaks for all these poor, unfortunate souls out there who wear shirts with blue collars on them, work hard all day to put food on the table for their family (unlike people who wear shirts with white collars or wear scrubs or t-shirts or dresses or costumes that consist of flannel shirts with the sleeves cut-off and old trucker hats) and pray to the American Flag of Jesus to protect them from the evils of muslims, queers, illegal immigrants, and the liberal jews who run Hollywood and the media. I guess one could say that you're "telling it like it is". And considering the vast amount of over-simplification you employ to describe with sweeping generalizations, all of America and the World that "don't make no sense to you", as well as your lack of sensitivity, and second grade grammar, one might be led to think that you are somewhat proud of not appearing (or being) too intellectual. Combine that with your sucker appeal to the knee-jerk white Christian patriot in us all who would much rather hear 87 fart jokes than hear a joke in which the President (the current one, not the last one) or the Pope, or Born-Again Christians, or Lee Greenwood get called on their shit for being the hypocrites that they are, and I think we've got a winner!

About being Anti-Gay. I honestly take that back. I do not think that you are anti-gay, I didn't choose those words wisely. Your stuff isn't necessarily anti-gay but rather stupid and easy. "Madder than a queer with lock jaw on Valentines Day." That's not that funny, I don't care who you are. It's just sooo easy. I mean, over half the planet sucks dick so why gays? Why not truck stop whores, or Hollywood Starlets or housewives? Because when you say "queer" you get an easy laugh. End of story.

As for being a multi-millionaire in disguise, that's just merely a matter of personal taste for me. I do not begrudge you your money at all, it is sincerely hard earned and you deserve whatever people want to give to you. What sticks in my craw about that stuff is the blatant and (again, personal taste) gross marketing and selling of this bullshit character to your beloved fans. Now look, if someone wants to pay top dollar to come to one of your shows and then drop a couple hundred more on "Git-R-Done" lighters and hats and t-shirts and windshield stickers and trailer hitches and beer koozies and fishing hats and shot glasses etc, then good for you. I just think it's a little crass and belies the "good ole boy" blue collar thing you represent. But that's no big deal.

Now, as for the last statement that "We're in a state of vague American values and anti-intellectual pride."

Well, I think that's true. When you can rally the troops (so to speak) with a lazy, "latte drinking, tofu eating" generalization of Liberals and "Back ass rag fags" to describe Arabs, then, yeah, I think that falls in the "ignorant" category. I think that with even the slightest attention to the double standard and hypocrisy of both the Left and the Right in this country (if not all of the Christian Extremists as a whole) coupled with the bullshit they lazily swallow and parrot back while happily ignoring the gross inhumane treatment of those that aren't them so that we may have cheap sneakers and oil and slightly less taxes (although I'm sure the bracket you're in now gives you a ton of tax money back), then you could maybe see my point. Now here's the best part - in your book you preface the above quote by saying, "...but I guess I'm not as intellectual as David Cross. In that Rolling Stone article, he sure showed us what a deep thinker he is by sayin' "America is in a stage of vague intellectual pride." Jesus Christ can you even fucking read?! Whoever read that article to you butchered the actual quote. The quote that was right fucking in front of their face! I would fire your official reader and have them replaced with a Hooters Girl who doesn't fart. That way you have something nice to look at while you are getting your misinformation.

As for "anti-intellectual pride", that is Larry The Cable Guy in spades. Let me quote you again (from an on-line interview, "I consider my jokes to be very jeuvinille (sic). Stuff a 14 year old would laugh at because that's the ...sence (sic) of humor I have.". Hmmm, okay. That was easy.

Well, I suppose I've already covered part of that in the above. But you also specifically dumb down your speech while making hundreds of purposefully grammatical errors. How do I know this? It's on page 17 of your book wherein you describe how you would "Larry" up your commentaries for radio. What does it mean to "Larry" something up? Take a wild guess. The reason you feel the need to "Larry" something up? Because you are not that dumb. I mean you, Dan Whitney, the guy who's name the bank account is under. You were born and raised in Nebraska (hardly The South), went to private school and moved to Florida when you were 16. This is when you developed your accent?! Not exactly the developmental years are they? At age 16 that's the kind of thing you have to make a concerted effort to adopt. Did you hire a voice coach? Or were you like one of those people who go to England for a week and come back sounding like an extra from "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels"? As you said yourself in an interview once, "I can pop in and out of it pretty much whenever I want". In your book on page 89 you say in reference to the "gee-shucks" millionaire comment, "...see, to his (David's) mind, bein' well paid means I'm no longer real and I can't be a country boy anymore. It's just an act." Hey, it's always been an act! That's my fucking point! You admit it yourself so cut the indignation shit. And I am in no way deriding your work ethic. You clearly have more fart jokes than most and for that I applaud you. You go on to talk about how hard you work and life on the road and living on Waffle House and blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I get it, we’ve all been there and played shitty, degrading gigs and sacrificed etc, etc. Then you say, "...this (the personal attack) was different because David basically hammered my fans in that RS article by implying that they were ignorant. He crossed the line when he railed against them, so I had to tell ya what I felt about that. He can hammer me all he wants, but when he screwed with my fans, it was time for me to say something." Aww, that's so sweet and egregious. I can't stand that fan ass kissing bullshit. You and Dane Cook ought to get together and have a "my-fan's-are-the-greatest-people-on-earth-and-that's-why-I-do-this" off. You could both sell a shit load of merch too. But having said that, I would truly love to get some of your fans and my fans in a room together to debate some of the finer points on comedy, music, culture, the issues facing our country today and just about anything else we might find worthy of discussion. My fans are pretty smart as well. They are also, I imagine, as "hard-working" as your fans. Not all of them of course, but most. And I'm sure that they may come up with some genuinely interesting, insightful points (and would do so without spouting a bunch of meaningless Christian platitudes). And if you really, truly want to respect your fans, lower your ticket price as well as the price of your ubiquitous merchandise. I'm sure all those hard-working Americans could use the extra money now that the budgets are being cut drastically from Transportation, Education, Health and Human Services, HUD, Dept of the Interior, EPA, Farm Service Agency, FEMA, Agricultural, FDA, VA, FDA, FHA, National Center for Environmental Health, and numerous other departments and agencies that they might directly rely on for help. All so that we can pay off this massive tax cut during "war" time that we're all getting (them not so much though). Oh well, that's just one of those "political" things that I think about occasionally.

Anyway, I just wanted to address the stuff you wrote about me and clear some things up. Mostly the air around here... I just farted!!!!!


David Cross

May 11, DJ tips!

Body: DJs ARE EXPERT MIND READERS - well i am, but whos keeping tracl? cb

When requesting a song from the DJ, just say "play my song", or "it goes
something like this" then hum a few bars! We have a chip implanted in our
heads with an unlimited database with the favorite tunes of every patron who
ever walked into a bar & all songs ever recorded, so feel free to be vague,
we love the challenge.

If we do not remember exactly what tune you want, we're only kidding.

DJs know every song ever recorded, so keep humming. Hum harder if need be
... it helps jog the memory.

If a DJ tells you they do not know a song you want to hear, they either
forgot that they know the tune or they are just putting you on. Try singing
a few words for the DJ. Any words.

It also helps to scream your request from across the room several times per
set followed by the phrases, "AW COME ON!" and, "YOU SUCK!" Exaggerated
hand gestures expressing disapproval from the dance floor are a big help as
well, such as the thumbs down or your middle finger. Put-downs are the best
way to jog a DJ’s memory. This instantly promotes you to the status of
"Personal Friend Of The DJ."

DJs are notorious fakers & jokesters and never really prepare for their
shows.They simply walk on stage with no prior thought to what they will do
once they arrive. A DJ's job is so easy, even a monkey could do it, so
don't let them off the hook easily.Your request is all that matters.

If a trance DJ had played at the club a few weeks ago, the next DJ that
follows will automatically know every trance tune the previous DJ ever
played, even if the current DJ is a house or jungle DJ. It's the law.

Feel free to yell Tupac or Biggie!! to a DJ that plays strictly house for
(or if a punk rock dance DJ be sure to ask over and over again for some top forty rap that will be played the next night at the same club)


When an DJ leans over to hear you better, grab his or her head in
both hands and yell directly into their ear, while holding their head
securely so they cannot pull away.This will be taken as an invitation to a
friendly & playful game of tug of war between their head and your hands.
Don't give up! Hang on until the DJ submits.

DJs are protected by their equipment, & only play the game
when tricked into coming out from behind their turntables. Though difficult
to get them to play, it's not impossible, so keep trying. They're especially
vulnerable during mixing songs.


The best time to discuss anything with the DJ in any meaningful way is when
he is in the mix. Our hearing is so advanced that we can pick out your tiny
voice from the megawatt wall of sound blasting all around us. DJs are expert
lip readers too. If a DJ does not reply to your question or comment
during a tune, it's because they didn't get a good look at your mouth in
order to read your lips.

Simply continue to scream your request & be sure to over emphasize the
words with your lips. This helps immensely.Don't be fooled.

DJs have the innate ability to answer questions & mix at the same
time. If the DJ doesn't answer your questions immediately, regardless
of how stupid the question may seem, it's because they are purposely
ignoring you.

If this happens, immediately cop an attitude. We love this.


If you inform the DJ that you are a DJ, the DJ will appreciate your
help with the next few tunes, or however long you can remain standing on
stage. Simply feel free to walk up on stage & join in. By the way, the
drunker you are, the better you sound.

Keep in mind that nothing assists the DJ more than
outrageous dancing, or a tambourine played out of tempo.
Try the congas, they love the challenge. The DJ always needs the help &
will take this as a compliment.


As a last resort, wait until the DJ takes a break and then get on stage
and start playing their records. They love this. Even if you are
ejected from the club, you can rest assured in the fact that you have
successfully completed your audition. The club owner will call you
Immediately the following day to offer you a position.

See you at the next gig ...
Thanks to Phantom 45™ for this one!

a day in the life of a republican


Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water for his
morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging
commie liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.

With his first swallow of coffee, Joe takes his daily medications
His medications are safe to take because some evil lefty bomb-throwers
fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of Joe's medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan
because some fire-breathing lazy ass union workers fought their employers for
paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too. Never would he turn it down.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat
because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In his morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly
labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because
some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his ZZZbody
and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep
breath. The air he breathes is healthy because some environmentalist wacko
troublemaking militant fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

Then Joe walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work.
It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because
some fancy-pants limp-wristed freethinkng asshole fought for affordable public
transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical
benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some fire-breathing
Viet Cong-loving union members fought and died for these working standards.
Joe's employer pays these high standards because Joe's employer doesn't want
his employees to call the union in. So Joe benefits from what others have gained.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a workers
compensation or unemployment check because some stupid pinko troublemakers
didn't think Joe should lose his home because of a temporary misfortune.

At noontime Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills.
Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal
red wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the
banking system before the Great Depression. He can thank that Stalinist
Franklin D. Roosevelt for that.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market
federal student loan because some elitist pointy-headed liberal decided that Joe
and the whole society would be better off if he was educated and earned
more money over his lifetime. That's okay, but the bastards tricked him
because he has to pay taxes. Bush will fix that, he tells himself.

Joe gets home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his
farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the
safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car
safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to
live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers
didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some
big-government New Deal Stalinist liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong
and demanded rural electrification.

Joe is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on
Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating
Marxist made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show.
The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are
good. He doesn't mention that over the decades the beloved Republicans
have fought to defeat every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.

Joe agrees with the talk-radio loudmouth: "We don't need those big-government
liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man and a good Republican
and I believe all Americans should take care of themselves, just like I have!"

Sunday, September 12, 2004

What a trip part one: The Ending aka the punch line is better than the set up.

It was getting late and we only had three days left in our trip. Erin will write this better than i by the by. So we are just north of SF and it is getting late. I am tired of driving. we started early and it was now almost ten. We hadn't eaten since about eleven am. So i started to speed. we were going 80 mph. a deer runs out. I swerve left then right. we start to slide i correct one way than another. I don't hit the deer but instead smash right into the fucking guard rail. we stay calm fix the blown right tire. everything seems fine...of fuck whats that noise. the car gets us the mile into the next town. we check into a hotel that not even hookers would take their "dates" to. In the morning I go out side and the spare tire is flat. That is when erin says " what the fuck!!!" that is what made her mad.

the short and long of it is that we switched hotels and stayed in the town of Cloverdale for two and a half days. I HATE DEERS!!!!!!!!!!! at least we got drunk.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Mikala's Fiend...DYLAN'S Head.

This weekend was the Capitol Hill Block Party. I got up early to get to see the first band of the day. BULLET TRAIN TO VEGAS. a very awesome band, indeed. Much like all my favorite of the post punk/mathy/screamo or whatever it is being called this week. they def take cues from drive like jehu and a slew of other bands. its very danceable.

For a couple of hours after their set I played host and missed most everybody else that day. I caught most of AKIMBO who blasted my head off, some of Pretty Girls... and did not see any of MIX-A-LOT... Cuz i had to go see the Muppet movie playing at the outdoor theater in fremont.

fast forward to the next day. Same stage different band. Mikala's Fiend at the Vera at 3pm. The set is going really well for these kids. During a breakdown in one of the songs Donnie, the bands drummer, hands me a tamborine. I commence in rallying the pit with my playing of the percusive instrument. OH SHIT I fall and hit my head on a moniter. I think I am OK...whats that blood like substance i feel in my hair. Oh yeah its blood. I soaked it up with a bandana and sat down. an hour later i went to the Urgent Care at Group Health.

This is how i spent my weekend. To top it off I am acting even slower and more retarded than when the weekend started.

long live spazzy hardcore noise bands.


Tuesday, July 13, 2004

STRT SPRX last review in MRR

what a great review:

"STRT SPRX play lo-fi keyboard led rock. THe tempo is mostly slow, and the vocals are loud. The singing styles vary, with mostly a "narrator" voice as the primary vocalist. They have many different styles of shouting for the back ups. They sound like a party band, and include retro early 90's jokes (homage to Nation of Uylsses, etc.)..."

Sunday, February 22, 2004

DJ Bring that Beat back aka the birth of DJ Jew-k Boxx

last night i was the dj for a party at Castle Greyskul. The party went til 4 am. It was a fucking blast and the people dug it. I found my new hobby and my new name.

Jew-k Boxx

how punk rock is that for a DJ name.

Sunday, January 04, 2004

so you say its your birthday...

I flew in yesterday from Omaha, Ne yesterday. Just in time for my brothers birthday. We took my parents to the Cha Cha early. It was pretty funny. Now they know where we drink.

Gabe and I returned there later that night. It was a reunion of sorts as a bunch of old heads came out of the wood work. All of the Unabombers were there minus miles. It was a good time. And if hangovers are anyway to rate last night....It was a doozey of a time.

Thursday, December 11, 2003

Dec 11, 2003

Last night was my 15min. My episode of the 5th Wheel aired. Boy oh Boy! They played up the gay angle with me. It was great fun. To see just how boring everyone came off. Oh well 100 dollars to do the show 300 dollars for my suit....It was all worth it.

Thursday, December 11, 2003

Dec 11, 2003

Last night was my 15min. My episode of the 5th Wheel aired. Boy oh Boy! They played up the gay angle with me. It was great fun. To see just how boring everyone came off. Oh well 100 dollars to do the show 300 dollars for my suit....It was all worth it.